Thursday, April 2, 2009

Just A Piece of Paper (NOT)




After reading a million plus blogs I have decided that my own blog “Thoughtfully Blended Hearts” is definitely lacking personality…my personality…I’m pretty quiet and definitely have some trouble sharing my life with others. So, here goes blogland, I’m off to new adventures of “opening up”…It will be slow and torturous but I’ll work with it as much as I can. I’m starting with “Show and Tell” from Kelli’s House in order to share my life with all of you.

I love studying psychology…didn’t major in it or anything but I have done lots of research and I do know that my personal reluctance to share myself with others is my coping mechanism to keep from being emotionally hurt.  So, I’m not so different from all other members of the human race…we want to feel good, loved and want to feel validated…

I live in a home that I built about twenty years ago…when I say built, I mean that I was my own contractor and did lots of the actual work also. Boy, was that an experience…It wasn’t a big or fancy house, just nice enough to live comfortably in…just on the edge of  our small town with lots of space for my children to grow…the best part of that house is that it adjoined the property where my Mom lived (my dad had died the year before we moved there) It was a perfect set-up, Grandmother right next door to “help” with the kids. It also put my family right next door to watch and help my Mom…You know something, building that house in that particular spot would turn out to be nothing short of a “miracle”.MYDC0053 I loved it and it saved us lots of money…which was a good thing…I didn’t know then-- that in less than five years I would be completely responsible for that house and my two children. In 1993, when my daughter was fifteen and my son was seven, my husband died. Well, that certainly wasn’t supposed to happen to me. Things like that only happened to “other” people, right… Wrong, a trip to our family physician for his headache turned out to be a serious turn in the road of our lives. Franklin (my late husband) was diagnosed with colon cancer and died six weeks after the diagnosis. He was forty-three years old.


This is my son and his Dad…not sure when it was made…definitely the ‘90’s with all the pink and blue going on…that’s one of my paintings in the background…


The three of us the summer after their Dad died…see we were taking an “educational” tour….

I’ve never been one for taking the easy way out of anything…so I decided that I needed a college degree in order to provide for my family. I certainly did not see myself remarrying…no…not me…not ever…(I did remarry, but that’s another story)

So, I enrolled in college and went off to get that degree. I was forty-two years old, a new widow, single parent, homeowner and certified basketcase so why shouldn’t I just get a degree…easy, aaarrrrggghhhh. Getting that degree was the most horrible and the most wonderful four years of my life. Not one person, not even my Mother, thought that I could graduate…but I did, with honors. I got a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration with a major in Management. 


That little piece of paper in my right hand, it’s mine, all mine and I did it…(just patting myself on the back for something I worked soooooo hard at, and in those four years (yes I did it in four) I was healing…sooooo miracles can and do happen.

image0 We may not have been a photogenic trio, but we were opening a bottle of champagne that someone (don’t remember who) gave to us on my graduation day. My son was twelve, I was ….hhhhmmmm forty-six and my beautiful daughter (a college student at the same university that I graduated from) was twenty. That piece of paper should have had their names on it also.




Thanks for listening…and I’ll continue this little story on my blog…just a little at a time…

I thought this post needed some spring cheeriness from my yard…









  1. Becky.... thanks for opening up to those of us out here reading your blog. It's nice to get to know the person behind the words. The women of bloggy land are proud of you for taking charge of your life after the passing of your husband. Can't imagine how proud your children were to see you get that diploma knowing how hard you worked for it. Kudos to you my dear!!

    The Blue Ridge Gal

  2. Wow Becky----I am so glad to get to know you better. I am PROUD of you for taking charge of your life at a time when many women would just fold up and cry....

    The fact that you built your own home told me that you are a very smart woman.

    Thanks SO much for sharing...

  3. Hello Becky,
    I really liked studying Psychology in college too! And art..... of course, as well as Interior design etc. however I did not get to finish. I started my third year and my parents did not have enough money for me to continue so I had to drop out and get a job. I would have probably been an Interior Designer with a Psych minor. Bravo to you in all your achievements! I did the remodel on our old farmhouse as well....all old lathe and plaster! Could you tell me what your favorite color is or what colors you where often so that I have a better idea of which pendant to send.....everyone is being so shy and they want me to choose for them!!! It's hard! Thanks for sharing, I'll look forward to getting to know you! Take care. Lu

  4. Your story was inspirational, and I think it's wonderful that you are sharing it. I'm looking forward to getting to know you- Nancy

  5. We have something in common. I got my college degree when I was 49. Thanks for sharing. Happy Show and Tell Friday. Here’s mine:

  6. Becky, I so loved this post! It's a great one. I'm glad you shared a little bit of you, and another the Spring blossoms.

    My Show n Tell is some of my treasured roses and amaryllis this week. Come by and enjoy the sweet fragrance and beauty.

    Happy Friday.

  7. Well Becky, you opened up real good!! I'm sorry for your loss of your husband and all that you have gone through. It's good that you got yourself up and did something positive.

  8. Your home is lovely and congratulations on your degree! Great work!



  9. What an uplifting story of your determination to go on with your live and accomplish great things. Congrats!

  10. Congratulations on the accomplishment and I do mean ACCOMPLISHMENT. Thanks for sharing some more about you.

  11. Your story was beautiful...I can't wait to hear the story on your REMARRIAGE!!
    Your home is beautiful and the landscaping is too!
    Your Diploma is awesome!!! I can't Imagine how hard you worked...Great Job!!! Have a great Friday...Julie

  12. Thanks for sharing a bit of your life. Great job finishing!! That piece of paper is pretty important!!

  13. I've never been to visit you before and found you through Show & Tell. Glad to "meet" you. What a fabulous story of strength and accomplishment. I think you'll find opening up to be the healthiest thing in the world. I am an open book.

  14. At first I thought your degree said 'The University of Treasures'-really! Congrats for that!
    Thanks for telling us about yourself. My husband is in a crisis with his colon right now-getting a colonoscopy (and endoscopy) on Tuesday-well you read that. I'm hoping all his issues are due to lack of sleep and stress. Seems he got worst after his job got effected. Not a nice prelude to our 25th anniversary.
    Thanks for visiting my blog too.

  15. Becky, what an amazing story. You keep patting yourself on the back, you certainly deserve it. I admire you so much for your courage and strength. They say everyone has a story, and after reading Dianne's note I see it is true. It sounds like life has tested you and you have proved you are a survivor and an optimist. I know what it is to lose someone you love dearly suddenly, and it is something that completely changes you. Thank you for sharing your story.
    sending warm hugs from Texas...

  16. Becky, What an inspiring story! I'm so sorry for your loss, but you have been an example of what one can do to get busy and make it better.

    Congrats on your diploma! That is priceless- and what a wonderful role model for your kids you are:)

    Thanks so telling you story!

    Linda C

  17. I too was an adult student returning to college. I went to a branch campus of Penn State to be a paralegal. Also, the same time/place as my daughter. However, since I worked full-time during the day, my classes were at night. It took me 5 years, but I did it.

  18. Visiting you via Kelli's Show and Tell blog train!

    Well you certainly did personality plusplusplus today - I enjoyed your candor and honesty. It does take courage to open up.

    You've certainly done some things to be proud of and I've loved being able to come and get to know you more!

  19. Becky, What a wonderful post! You shared your heart in such a special way. Thanks for sharing about the highs and lows you've experienced in such an empowering way. And you're blog is beautiful! Blessings, Jax in Alaska

    P.S. Come on over to my blog for more Show & Tell fun.

  20. Thanks for sharing your story! What a great posting. It's nice to get to know you.

  21. So sorry about the loss of your husband. That is wonderful you worked so hard to earn you college degree. Thanks for sharing your story.

  22. Good for you. I was also a widow and raising a family alone, and you really were smart to go to school. You should be so proud, I do know how hard that was and you really showed what great determination you have. Thanks for sharing, a wonderful story. Hugs, Marty

  23. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful and inspiring story! You should be proud of what you accomplished! It was nice getting to know you. Have a lovely weekend!

  24. You're a very inspiring lady and I love that you are sharing your story with us!

  25. Thanks for sharing such a heartfelt story.
    You are truly a women of courage & strength, and an example for many to follow.

  26. What a beautiful post. It's nice to meet you. I will look forward to getting to you better.

  27. "I was a...certified basketcase."

    You lost me there. I re-read, trying to figure out the certified part, but never did.

    That family photo of you and the kids--the Jack Daniels Distillery, perhaps? Is it still in a dry county? I thought it was hysterical, the notion that the good people in that county didn't object to making gobs of money off whiskey that they sold to other people, but were too Christian to drink it themselves.

    I loved the albino squirrel. Here in this part of Oregon, we mostly have Douglas (red) Squirrels. They live nowhere on earth but the Pacific NW. I built them a feeder and a house.

    Also loved the dogs. I have a black schnauzer and a blue heeler. If you visit my blog, you'll find photos of them here and there.

  28. Thanks for sharing with us. It has been nice to meet you. Jean

  29. Happy weekend, Becky! Your story is very inspirational, and I'm so glad you decided to share it. Love the photos of spring from your garden ... here in Bakersfield, those flowers have been gone for a month already, half of them knocked off by late winter rains.

    30 Days of Junkin' in April

  30. A very interesting S&T! Thanks for sharing, I wish more people would do this! I'm betting you have a "lived happily ever after" end to your story!


  31. What an amazing and inspiring story! Thank you for sharing.



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Tennessee, South, United States
Intense...the best description of living and loving life that I know...without intensity, life is mediocre and without definition...